i really enjoyed this but like a lot of good intriguing fiction thats crossing my path here, i seem to be right in the middle of something and answers to all my questions lie tangled in the past. lots of threads of interest and mythological name dropping always makes me reach for my "golden tales of greece".
I think the past tense is doing some good things for your story here. It feels like the right fit. Personally I don’t feel like there is anything wrong with the present tense but I do think there are times it’s a good fit and times that it is not such a good fit for a story.
To me, in the chapters I read, i feel like past tense will give better justice to how you want to describe things and lay out the world for the reader.
This feels like your details and world building is thriving in this tense. Nice work.
Thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment - I really do appreciate it! With both yours and Hanna's vote being the same, I reckon I'm definitely going to edit the first bunch of chapters into the past - thank you! 💜
Ok well I personally love it. I find the past tense gives time for reflection BUT the way you had it in present was good, too. I think for me as a reader, past tense just flows better and feels more inviting. I realise that what I'm saying may not be of any help but I felt like I could really relax into this. Reading present tense is so immersive but it's also immediate and fast paced. I don't know if that's what you want or not.
Thank you!! I'm thinking I'm going to change it, as I do want that reflective element. This IS helpful, as you've just cemented the idea in my mind, so thank you! 💜
Loved the Cornwall story, by the way! En route to leave a proper comment, just got momentarily distracted by one of the last errant wasps of the year... 😳
I could be wrong but I just think-- absolutely none of the timeless novels that we go back to are written in present tense. I struggle with it, personally. I can read it if I like the story (of which I do here) but it's just so fast! The past tense really emphasises Daphne's character and adds layers for the reader to comprehend. It's like savouring rather than shovelling the food.
Ha ha thank you. I was thinking about using it as a prologue for a novel.
OMG seriously?!! That's a great idea!! There are SO many books set in Cornwall, but I always steer clear of them because they're just so fluffy and dull and 'oh my long-lost aunt, who I had no idea existed, just died and I inherited a beautiful house overlooking the sea... and oh... my neighbour is SO hot... I wonder if there will be any romance??' In real life, us Cornish are a fucked-up and slightly odd people, and this needs to be a thing in books, too!! I would SO love for you to continue the story as the (dead? fisherman? ghost?) was super creepy!!
I'm not into romance really, and I find that if there was any romance, it would be a bit underwhelming and weird because I'd be writing about Brits. Did you ever read Jamaica Inn? That was dark ugly cornwall. Obviously Georgian Cornwall but I loved it. I've read a lot of Daphne Du Maurier and I can't believe she was labelled a romance writer. Some of those characters are twisted! Yes, I was going to have it as like, a girl goes missing and then a second girl goes missing. No body, police investigation but no results. They have to get all paranormal and it's a bit like Buffy with ghosts having an impact on the behaviour of the people who visit there. There's a constant, broken puzzle that needs fixing or something. I'm still chewing on it.
That sounds awesome! I love a murder/ghost mystery!!
I absolutely love Jamaica Inn!! The only other books besides (that i know of) are The Square of Sevens, (but that was only in Cornwall for a little bit of the book), and Jodie Matthew's Meet me at the Surface, which was pretty cool, but set in North Cornwall... and we southerners slightly look down on the north, for being so touristy 😅😂
you're exactly right Hanna. I tried it recently and it forces your hand. the pace is RIGHT NOW and THEN THE NEXT THING HAPPENS AND THE NEXT THING HAPPENS and you have no time for inner monolgue, reflection, deep description of the scene.
i really enjoyed this but like a lot of good intriguing fiction thats crossing my path here, i seem to be right in the middle of something and answers to all my questions lie tangled in the past. lots of threads of interest and mythological name dropping always makes me reach for my "golden tales of greece".
Thank you for giving it a read 😊
I think the past tense is doing some good things for your story here. It feels like the right fit. Personally I don’t feel like there is anything wrong with the present tense but I do think there are times it’s a good fit and times that it is not such a good fit for a story.
To me, in the chapters I read, i feel like past tense will give better justice to how you want to describe things and lay out the world for the reader.
This feels like your details and world building is thriving in this tense. Nice work.
Thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment - I really do appreciate it! With both yours and Hanna's vote being the same, I reckon I'm definitely going to edit the first bunch of chapters into the past - thank you! 💜
Ok well I personally love it. I find the past tense gives time for reflection BUT the way you had it in present was good, too. I think for me as a reader, past tense just flows better and feels more inviting. I realise that what I'm saying may not be of any help but I felt like I could really relax into this. Reading present tense is so immersive but it's also immediate and fast paced. I don't know if that's what you want or not.
Thank you!! I'm thinking I'm going to change it, as I do want that reflective element. This IS helpful, as you've just cemented the idea in my mind, so thank you! 💜
Loved the Cornwall story, by the way! En route to leave a proper comment, just got momentarily distracted by one of the last errant wasps of the year... 😳
I could be wrong but I just think-- absolutely none of the timeless novels that we go back to are written in present tense. I struggle with it, personally. I can read it if I like the story (of which I do here) but it's just so fast! The past tense really emphasises Daphne's character and adds layers for the reader to comprehend. It's like savouring rather than shovelling the food.
Ha ha thank you. I was thinking about using it as a prologue for a novel.
OMG seriously?!! That's a great idea!! There are SO many books set in Cornwall, but I always steer clear of them because they're just so fluffy and dull and 'oh my long-lost aunt, who I had no idea existed, just died and I inherited a beautiful house overlooking the sea... and oh... my neighbour is SO hot... I wonder if there will be any romance??' In real life, us Cornish are a fucked-up and slightly odd people, and this needs to be a thing in books, too!! I would SO love for you to continue the story as the (dead? fisherman? ghost?) was super creepy!!
😭 YOU GET IT
I'm not into romance really, and I find that if there was any romance, it would be a bit underwhelming and weird because I'd be writing about Brits. Did you ever read Jamaica Inn? That was dark ugly cornwall. Obviously Georgian Cornwall but I loved it. I've read a lot of Daphne Du Maurier and I can't believe she was labelled a romance writer. Some of those characters are twisted! Yes, I was going to have it as like, a girl goes missing and then a second girl goes missing. No body, police investigation but no results. They have to get all paranormal and it's a bit like Buffy with ghosts having an impact on the behaviour of the people who visit there. There's a constant, broken puzzle that needs fixing or something. I'm still chewing on it.
That sounds awesome! I love a murder/ghost mystery!!
I absolutely love Jamaica Inn!! The only other books besides (that i know of) are The Square of Sevens, (but that was only in Cornwall for a little bit of the book), and Jodie Matthew's Meet me at the Surface, which was pretty cool, but set in North Cornwall... and we southerners slightly look down on the north, for being so touristy 😅😂
you're exactly right Hanna. I tried it recently and it forces your hand. the pace is RIGHT NOW and THEN THE NEXT THING HAPPENS AND THE NEXT THING HAPPENS and you have no time for inner monolgue, reflection, deep description of the scene.
good for fighty scenes though.